Here comes the Bride....part 2

So the carts came to take us away. Everything was going smoothly, if a little late. (what bride isn't a little late?!) 

THEN.......

I realised I didn't have my vows on me. They were in my bag. 

Being the ever reasonable person I am, I made them stop the carts so I could ask my ever efficient organiser bridesmaid (EEOB) where my bag was (all the while, in my head Im screaming & running around with my hands in the air!). My bag, it turned out, had already made its way to the reception. So, being the ever reasonable bride that I was I refused to go any further. What?! It was reasonable! I was NOT going up there, to our gorgeous rainforest setting, where everyone was waiting, without my vows that I had written from my heart. The exact words I wanted to say at the exact right moment. The vows I wanted to make, to my husband to be, in front of all our friends and family. So, NO, I was NOT going any further without them! 

Thankfully, a staff member or possibly EEOB's hubby (I think, this stage is rather fuzzy thanks to the almost panic attack I was having!), rushed inside and up to our reception room and grabbed my vows, which were hastily stuffed down EEOB's cleavage, and once again the carts were on the move! 

But things still were not going smoothly. Our Mini Miss was chucking the biggest of tantrums! One, even the richest of princesses could be proud of. She was upset that she was not allowed to drive the golf cart herself...and no amount of cuddling, comforting, distracting or reasoning was going to stop her rant! She wanted to drive that damn cart!! But the show had to go on, and so it did, screaming toddler and all!

We arrived at the rainforest. I could see all our friends and family waiting patiently (I hope!) in their chairs, my Dad, pacing waiting for me to arrive, and possibly wondering if I had done a runner, our Pastor, smiling and chatting to the groomsmen, and through the leaves of the trees, my husband to be, carefully being kept in a position that stopped any chance of him catching a glimpse of me!

Cue a flurry of activity as I was helped out of the golf cart, kissed by my emotional Dad, fluffed and straightened and primped by my bridesmaids, given an excited look by Miss Teen and then.....

The music started. 

I felt sick. I felt dizzy. I felt terrified. What the hell was I thinking?!! I couldn't do this!

Suddenly I wasn't worried about Dad tripping down the aisle, but me. Suddenly I was worried I was going to faint.....I couldn't breathe. 

I focused on the timing of the music. "go..." I said to each of my best friends as their turn came to be the centre of attention for a moment. I smiled at them as they went. Then waited....and there was my cue. With a slight stutter in my step, off we went, Dad & I, arm in arm, walking slowly to the music. 

 

I tried to smile at people. I tried to catch eyes & say thank you with a smile. But all I could really muster was a smile, and possibly a giggle or two. I wasn't clearly aware of who I saw...they were all a blurry mess of smiling faces....then finally I locked on to the one face I wanted to see. Needed to see in that moment. Had I not found him right then, I could imagine, in the the style of The Runaway Bride, me hitching up my dress, turning on my very high heels and running out of there, grabbing a golf cart and taking off! Instead I found his face. 

Hubby to be.

And suddenly everything was fine. All the guests disappeared, and for a moment, it was just him and me. All I could see in his eyes was love. For me. True and honest love. He really wanted this as much as I did. THAT, right there was my fear, the cause of all my nerves. I was worried, deep down, that he was marrying me out of some stupid obligation. I had given him a baby, a family, so he thought he'd best "do the right thing".

In that one glance, that one moment, I KNEW he loved me as much as I loved him. Maybe more. He couldn't wait to start this next stage of life. With me. 

The next 1/2 hour is a blur, tinged with laughter and tears of joy. Laughter as EOB retrieved my vows from her cleavage for me to read. Some laughter and tears of joy as my poor speechless almost husband tried to respond to my vows with his own. Joy and special moments as we signed the register, then, finally, we were announced as husband and wife & we kissed. And we stood there, in front of everyone apparently, but all alone, and just soaked it up. We were married. Joined in front of all our friends, promised and committed in front of God, and blessed. So blessed.

We walked up the aisle as husband and wife. So many people congratulating us and covering us in bubbles (I really love bubbles, so much cooler than eye piercing uncooked rice!) and cheers. There was congratulation hugs and kisses from family, then friends, then some quick photos, then we were off in our carts again, to take some professional shots and really, start the celebrations! 

4WFF THE FINALE!!

Well, this post is long overdue! I have been so busy with things lately, that it just didn't happen! 

And then, to add to things, I forgot to take "after" pictures! Now its too late, as I have been on holidays where a kitchen and general healthy eating options were at a minimum! So......I will post my "after" pics at the end of this month instead!! 

Firstly I want to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to Christine Tinslay from Bod Squad Personal Training! 

If you haven't already, you HAVE to check out her Facebook page and her Website! This woman is a genius! She makes everything make sense! She seriously explains WHAT to do and then WHY! She doesn't just give you a menu and exercise plan and say "stick to it for the best results", she teaches life skills! Things like how to make the best choices within your own tastes, how to exercise effectively and to gain the best results, how to live a "normal" life while keeping fit and healthy and making the best possible choices everyday!

So, my results.....

In my 4 weeks...despite a nasty case of the flu and a visit to hospital with Mini Miss, and several other interruptions.....I lost.... 

3.8kg!!! 

AND......

4cm off my waist, 1.5cm off my thighs, 3.5cm off my hips....


So despite not following her program "perfectly" I still lost weight and cm's! I feel better. I recovered from the flu quicker than I normally do. Even with the recent holiday splurge, I have jumped straight back into the menu and exercise planning, the making good choices and the following the general rules of Chriss's program. Not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. Next month I will be signing up once again, and will set myself a whole new lot of goals and aims. Then, hopefully I will be fully equipped with all the tools I need to do this long term life journey.I am under no illusions that the kind of weight loss I need will happen overnight. In fact, I am giving myself 12 months to lose most of the weight. During this time I will be lucky enough to have access to not only Chriss, but a wonderful group of people on the same journey via a Facebook group. This online access to support from other people in various stages of their journey, sharing successes, failures, recipes, tips and hints, seeking support and help from each other is great. It helps to know you are not alone. It helps to talk to others and get advice. It helps to have others cheering you on!

I am so so grateful to my wonderful Melbourne bestie for pointing me in Chriss's direction. It was a life changing action and decision. It has given me the knowledge, motivation and skills I need to do this once and for all! You knew what I needed and pointed me in exactly the right direction!

So my 2nd MASSIVE THANK YOU heads out to you bestie!! 

You know who you are! We have been through so much together, and I cannot and do not want to imagine life without you! A constant source of strength for me despite your own struggles....A person could not find a better friend who ALWAYS has others best interests at heart! 

So yay!! For now the official challenge is over.....but really it has just begun. Can I truly put into action what I have learnt? Once a month I will check in and let you know how I am going. Life is busy. It can be a great excuse. But I refuse to let that happen. 

My family and friends deserve and need the healthiest me I can be, so that is what I am aiming for!!!

4WFF - Middle of Week 3

So we are in the middle of week 3, heading for a weigh in just 2 days...Do I think I will have lost more? Gee I hope so! 

I still haven't been "Perfect", but I am, for the most part, following the "rules". 

I feel more energetic. In fact, I feel more awake than I have in months. I have had a cold for the last week and a bit, but even that is clearing up quicker than normal. Rather than losing my voice for a week or more, it was a couple of days. Today, I almost feel better! I even went for a nice long walk this afternoon! First REAL exercise in a week.

More than just feeling physically well though, mentally I am in a better place. I know that I am still on Anti depressants, but now I am on the lowest dose. No, I attribute the feeling mentally better to a lot of things, including the change of diet and being more physical. I have said before I wasn't aware of just how many carbs I was consuming. Well, I think reducing them has not only lightened me, but lightened the darkness in my mind. I am not sure I can explain it properly, but....eating mostly the right foods, with only the occasional "bad" food, rather than the other way around has left me feeling less fuzzy, able to think more clearly. 

Fueling my body with the foods it needs, and regular exercise, has helped me in ways I didn't think of.

That's not to say this has somehow "cured" me. No, but it has HELPED. 

So, the importance of eating right and exercising, or at the very least, MOVING your body regularly, is for so much more than physical health. Its for overall health. 

This "life change" will stay around forever. It will change my life so completely, that it won't feel like a change soon. It will just feel like the regular way of life. I know this, because it has come at a time when everything in our lives is FINALLY falling into place.

Hubby has a full time job after being out of work for 14 months (so so proud and happy!!). Miss Teen has settled into high school and new friends, and is focusing on her passion. Mini Miss has settled into a good routine (FINALLY!!) and is happy. 

And me? Well, things keep changing. I am not a fan of change, this is not a secret. But all for the positive. This life change. Work is changing. God is moving me into serving our church in ways I never thought I would, and I am loving it. 

Yeah, for the first time in a very long time, despite certain stresses, and still my dark days.....

I AM LOVING LIFE!!!

4WFF end of first week

Well its Day 7,  the first week is almost over.... 

Have I lost weight? We will find out tomorrow!! 

This week has been a learning curve for me. I have learnt new things, such as the need for eating Protein with every meal. I've learnt that our bodies store carbs for a long time, and our bodies use that store for energy, rather than burning our excess fat. And so much more. I don't want to tell you too much, that is Chriss from Bod Squad Personal Training's job!! 

It has been a rollercoaster of a week. I have learnt that when I withdraw from certain substances, namely Sugar and Carbs, I get sick. Physically, actual sick. Its horrible. Its also the reason I usually give up on diet and healthy eating plans. My body rebels and it feels awful!! USUALLY within a week I give in and eat rubbish. 

However, not this time! 

I spoke to Chriss, got some good advice from others doing the program. I ate a small, balanced healthy amount of carbs, and bingo! I felt better! So, lesson learnt is everything in moderation! I will still do Fat Flush days, but will be a little more careful and eat a very small amount of healthy low gi carbs at breakfast (a slice of grainy toast usually!) Otherwise, lots and lots of fresh veggies and protein with every meal is certainly not as hard as I first thought! And it doesn't have to taste bland! Hubby and I have learnt to make tasty meals using herbs and spices and low carb, low gi sauces!!

So, have I followed the program perfectly, to the tee? No, I havent :(   I had 2 chocolate biscuits last night thanks to feeling so down yesterday (see yesterdays post HERE). NORMALLY it would have been the whole packet, or a block of chocolate, so its an improvement! There are other little failures here and there. I am not perfect. I am coming from a place where I was eating BADLY! I didn't realise just how badly. Even when I thought I was being good, turns out, it wasn't good enough!!

I also havent exercised enough. I need to get better at time management for that one. Especially now Hubby has a full time job (YAY!!) and I'm working part time! But I WILL get better. It is hard with a toddler in tow, but it won't be impossible! Our local PT runs a mums and bubs class most mornings, so I think I will have to give that a try in the coming week!

Overall I am happy with how I have been travelling. This is a long term thing. A LIFE STYLE change! 

"It won't happen overnight, but it will happen"

Want to know more about the program? Check out the link above or Chriss's facebook page HERE 

More New Beginnings....

I am very happy and proud to say Hubby starts a new job on Monday. He has been out of work for a long, stressful, trying and hard 14 months. I know this isn't long for some people, but it seemed like a lifetime to us. 

The financial strain, especially when getting married and going on an already booked expensive honeymoon, Christmas, birthdays, etc has been tough. We have, only by the grace of God, kept our heads above water, but we have

So now, we can finally start to tackle all our debt properly, and get rid of it. Cut up the credit cards, pay of the car and the rings (yes, we spent a lot on our wedding rings, we wanted them to last....well, that was my excuse!). We can finally get our finances back under control.

The most important positive though, is for Hubby. He has felt like he has let me down, and has failed his family by not providing financially for us. It has been a dark dark place he has been in these past few months in particular, so it is nice to come out on the other side with the sun shining down on us again!!

Yet.........

I am looking at the next few weeks apprehensively, nervously, in fact, I am not looking forward to them at all.

Why?

I think, and I am just guessing as I still haven't figured all this out yet (hence this post....its my "figure it out" platform!), that I have gotten used to him being home. As much as I have wanted to be the stay at home parent, the thought, after not doing it for so long, is a little daunting. 

I will still be working 2 or 3 days a week, at least for the time being, which means no "days off" to do the housework etc. My availability at work has been significantly reduced to an evening and a couple of days a week, namely, Molly's daycare days. This means now, like most stay at home mums, I will have to tackle the housework with a certain Mini Miss Tornado following close behind me! It means I will again responsible for running our family, organising dinners (I really really do hate cooking!), and all the other things a stay at home mum does, as well as still working. To me, that sounds a little exhausting! 

And, to be honest, I will MISS HIM being home. I will miss him being just a text or phone call away. I will miss his visits at work, and him coming in for lunch. I will miss our time together on the odd day when I had a daycare day off work (like today, it was loooovely! Some shopping, going to the movies, so lovely and peaceful). 

We will have to work harder at being organised, making sure we still spend quality time as a family, and as a couple as well as have time for extended family and friends. Most importantly of all (as I am currently TRYING to, seriously, is 10 mins of uninterrupted peace to write a blog too much to ask?!!! lol!) we will need to make sure we still have our "me" time. Have time for our passions, our hobbies, for just having some much needed TIME OUT!!! Well, in fact, we will have to live the same life most working couples do. I guess we aren't alone in all this. 

Yes, I do know it will all be worth it! I know we will tackle the new challenges together, as Husband and Wife, and with God as our anchor, we will find our way. We will pull together and make it work.

Yet, I am still a little nervous. I am not a fan of change....so I guess, all I can do is wait and see what this new direction, this new beginning, has in stall for our family.....

HOW DO YOU HANDLE CHANGE?