Saturday 6 July 2013

Date Night

So life is busy. Really busy. Really really busy. 

Between (and in no particular order!!);

  • working
  • attempting to stay on top of the house and yard work 
  • spending time with the kids 
  • Trying to make time for friends and family
  • church
  • the dreaded long drawn out "night time routine" 
  • WAAAAAY too many sleepless nights
  • after school activities 
  • playgroup
  • voluntary commitments 
  • much needed personal "my time" 

there is very little time left over for our Relationship. Our Marriage. Us. 

Enter the idea of Date Night.

It is sad, that these days, in order to spend quality time with the person we love, we have to schedule a Date Night! We have done this in the past. I am blessed with amazing In Laws! (i know right?!! You are so jealous right now aren't you?!!). They look after Mini Miss every second Saturday night!! Our nights look something like this: out to dinner, eat too much, go for a walk, realise how tired we really are, come home and crashed into bed. Rather than feeling refreshed and more connected we end up looking somewhat like this:

Don't get me wrong, these nights are great. 
We talk. To each other. 
Without say things like "Put down the knife" "don't pull the dogs tail" "I can see what you are doing" "don't put that nappy in your mouth" mid sentence (these are actual examples of things I have said mid sentence without skipping a beat!). Conversations for us these days are like 2 people talking with Tourette's, you never know what is going to come out of your mouth mid sentence. But, because of our lives, when the much anticipated Date Night arrives, rather than this ideal:

we simply look forward more to the uninterrupted sleep than the spending quality time together. 

There are days, weeks even, when I feel disconnected. I still feel like we are partners in life, but not life partners. We go along, side by side, enjoying the others company, but still just working as a team, not really having any time together, to talk about US.

So my plan for the rest of the year is to ensure 1 Date Day (be it daytime or night) a month that is all about US. Doing things WE love to do. Not about catching up on the housework without Mini Miss underfoot, or catching up on much needed (and desirable) sleep!

We are going to test drive our local area for things couples can do together. Things that don't cost a lot of money, as we are trying to get on top of debt and spend less money (see EOFY post).

We live in a truly beautiful part of Australia. It is currently the middle of winter, and during that day a t-shirt and jeans are comfortable! The forest meets the sea here, so we have a choice of clean, beautiful beaches, or green leafy rainforest walks. As we both love photography, you can bet there will be lots of pictures! And of course, for locals and tourists alike, a list of the best activities for couples to spend quality time together!

Crystal Shower Falls and suspension bridge in Dorrigo National Park Northern NSW
Yes, these pictures are meant to make you jealous,
unless you live here too, in which case,
they are just to remind you how beautiful it is here!!
On our child filled weeks we may even do the same thing with Family Friendly activities and I will put together a list of cheap/free things to do for families too! 

Do you have a Date Night? 

Thursday 4 July 2013

Finances, EOFY.....YUK!

EOFY (End of Financial Year for those not in "the know"!) = talk of budgets and financial goals in the Muddled Household last night. 

Muddled hubby and I sat down last night and worked out a budget for the next 12 months. It meant cutting a few things out, adding a few things in, but fingers crossed we will get on top of things by the end of the year AND have some much needed savings.

It also meant that we finally decided to have a joint bank account. <---- those words TERRIFY me! Seriously more than "I do" on our wedding day. It is like the final step into adulthood, trust and unity. For me anyhow. 

See, I was a VERY independent and self sufficient single Mother for 9 years. I got myself in a BIG mess when Miss Teen was around 2 years old. The wheels fell off my life. And my finances. But I refused financial help. I stood on my own two feet and relied solely on MYSELF. I dragged not only my life back together, but my finances. That has always been a point of pride to me. To now have to share that responsibility is, well, scary. To me. Maybe I'm strange! 

So Muddled Hubby and I did a budget. We will pay all the bills, together. We will get rid of all the debt, together. We will save, together. Because this life we have chosen to live, together.

Do you use a budget? If so, is it so you can work towards a specific goal? Or is just so you can get by week by week? 

Our main goals for the next 12 months are:

1. get rid of ALL credit card debt
2. go on a cruise at the end of 2014
3. continue to chip away at our car loan

Do you have any financial goals? Do you plan for the future or live for the now? What do you dream doing?