Monday, 27 August 2012

our journey so far.....

So we are getting married in just under 10 weeks...not long now....66 days.....

So I thought I would reminiscence on how I met Shane, how our relationship grew and how we got where we are today.....

When I moved to Coffs Harbour in 2007, to me it was the chance for a new start in life. I had lost my Mum, my rock, my best friend and it had left me shaken and unsure. I had had my share of relationships, mostly dodgy, so I saw Coffs as a new beginning. 

For the first nearly 2 years I was busy...I worked full time and was raising Maddi. It turned out that making friends, meeting people, getting out there, especially in Coffs, was HARD! It was harder than on the Central Coast, where I grew up, because I already knew people there to socialise with.

So I decided to give a dating website a go, namely RSVP. I had done this before, and met a nice guy who I dated for about 6 months. I also knew that it involved weeding out the "less than desirables" to find someone special. 

I met up with a few guys, but there was nothing serious, nothing where there was that SPARK. I had decided to cancel my membership to the website. I decided I wasn't meant to find a decent guy, to find my soul mate. I was okay with it. I had made my peace with being single, and I was happy. Happy to raise Maddi by myself, to throw myself into raising her, looking after my Dad and working for a company I loved.

Then, before cancelling, I decided to check the profiles one last time. His profile jumped out at me straight away. He certainly wasn't the type of guy I normally looked at. Sorry honey, but your profile picture was, um, well, more than a little dorky! I sent him a "kiss" which was a way to say, "i'd like to get to know you" He replied with an email, and we started to chat.

I was hesitant. I was happy being on my own, and I could tell he was someone special, and I was scared all of a sudden. Commitment has secretly always scared me for some reason. So, for 2 months we just emailed each other, chatting almost daily. Then it moved to texts. We worked out we worked with a 2 min walking distance from each other, but still I made excuses not to meet face to face. Then, all of a sudden, I caved. We arranged to meet for a coffee at the Coffee Club on August 5 2009.

As soon as we said hello, I knew. I knew he was someone I could easily love forever. Thankfully he felt the same way. I was still very resistant for almost a year I tried to keep it to being just friends. It started getting serious, I broke up with him.

Shane is the most amazing, patient, gentle, caring and loving person. He backed off, but insisted we still be friends, still chat. He came to my birthday party in Jan 2010 and suddenly, plied with a large amount of alcohol I couldn't understand what my problem was....Why was I resisting this amazing guy who clearly WANTED to be with me, was happy to wait while i sorted myself out. Suddenly it was VERY clear I wanted to be with him.

We went away for his birthday that July, then he started spending the weekends at my place, then in August he moved in. The day after he moved in, we found out we were expecting our first baby together. 

I was in heaven, and have been there ever since!! Yes, we go through hard times. I have depression and anxiety, it makes for a sometimes stressful household. But having Shane by my side, a patient, loving man, I feel safe, I feel happy, I feel secure.

We welcomed Molly into our world in April 2011 and in September 2011 we went away for our first family holiday. The first week was spent enjoying time with amazing friends, the second week it was just our little family. Sitting there, our last night, the girls tucked up into bed, at the end of an amazing holiday, just relaxing in each others company.....Shane looked at me and asked me, unexpectedly, "Will you marry me?" Yes, of course....and I cried. I was so so happy!

Since then, the journey has been quick! We have been planning our wedding, raising our girls, getting on with life and its busy, its stressful, its exhausting, its joyous, its happy, its family, its life.

I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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