Sunday, 27 May 2012

Back to work

Well, as of Tuesday, I am a working Mum once again. I am facing this with a mixture of emotions: Excitement, Nerves, Fear, Sadness.

Excited to be going back to the job I loved for 6yrs. Excited to be working with some old friends and some new ones. Excited to be an adult, with responsibilities and a paid job to do. Excited to spend a few hours a day with other adults minus the kids!!

Nerves. It's been 15 months. A lot has changed in my work place. I visit regularly, so I know SOME of the changes, but there is plenty still to learn. I have always been one of the "go to" people in my workplace, so I'm nervous knowing that role will have now changed. Nerves that there will be an expectation to perform to the high standard I always have, and that I won't be able to anymore, that I will have "lost my touch" so to speak. Nerves about leaving Shane to deal with Molly and Dad and the household tasks for a couple of days a week.

Fear. So many fears. Fear Molly will despise me for leaving her. Fear that Shane won't be able to handle everything, Molly, Dad, the daily housework and that he will resent me not being there. Fear that he will excel at all of the above, and I will feel useless for occasionally not being able to cope myself!! The biggy - fear of failure.

Sadness. Sad to be leaving my baby, it's that simple.

Now add to all this, the fact that the 12WBT starts in just a week. So not only do I have to go back to work, but also fit in menu planning, shopping, cooking & preparing healthy meals, exercise everyday PLUS all my normal duties as mother, partner & friend. Eek!!! Now THAT IS scary!!

So all that complaining about time management and now I find myself in a situation that, without good time management, I am sure to fail!!!

Fact : I am still crap at a Time Management.

But, I am giving it a go. Michelle Bridges encourages us to use a diary. Plan your days/weeks/months. So, starting with small steps, I have planned this week. Planned dinner menus, scheduled in exercise time each day, made time for the girls for Shane and for friends and for church.

Things like Maddi's dancing & Scouts need to be considered. The need to spend quality time with Molly who is no doubt going to miss me. The need to spend time with Shane as a couple as well as all of us together as a family. The need to ensure that Shane also gets down time, some "me" time to do his own thing....all this needs to be considered, otherwise I face becoming self absorbed in what I need to do and I could end up neglecting those I love.


So hopefully in weeks to come I will be writing a post about how awesome I am!! That I CAN be the super mum I never expected to be!! That's the plan anyhow :)

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