4WFF - Middle of Week 3

So we are in the middle of week 3, heading for a weigh in just 2 days...Do I think I will have lost more? Gee I hope so! 

I still haven't been "Perfect", but I am, for the most part, following the "rules". 

I feel more energetic. In fact, I feel more awake than I have in months. I have had a cold for the last week and a bit, but even that is clearing up quicker than normal. Rather than losing my voice for a week or more, it was a couple of days. Today, I almost feel better! I even went for a nice long walk this afternoon! First REAL exercise in a week.

More than just feeling physically well though, mentally I am in a better place. I know that I am still on Anti depressants, but now I am on the lowest dose. No, I attribute the feeling mentally better to a lot of things, including the change of diet and being more physical. I have said before I wasn't aware of just how many carbs I was consuming. Well, I think reducing them has not only lightened me, but lightened the darkness in my mind. I am not sure I can explain it properly, but....eating mostly the right foods, with only the occasional "bad" food, rather than the other way around has left me feeling less fuzzy, able to think more clearly. 

Fueling my body with the foods it needs, and regular exercise, has helped me in ways I didn't think of.

That's not to say this has somehow "cured" me. No, but it has HELPED. 

So, the importance of eating right and exercising, or at the very least, MOVING your body regularly, is for so much more than physical health. Its for overall health. 

This "life change" will stay around forever. It will change my life so completely, that it won't feel like a change soon. It will just feel like the regular way of life. I know this, because it has come at a time when everything in our lives is FINALLY falling into place.

Hubby has a full time job after being out of work for 14 months (so so proud and happy!!). Miss Teen has settled into high school and new friends, and is focusing on her passion. Mini Miss has settled into a good routine (FINALLY!!) and is happy. 

And me? Well, things keep changing. I am not a fan of change, this is not a secret. But all for the positive. This life change. Work is changing. God is moving me into serving our church in ways I never thought I would, and I am loving it. 

Yeah, for the first time in a very long time, despite certain stresses, and still my dark days.....

I AM LOVING LIFE!!!

End of Week 2.

Well....we are at the end of 2 weeks.

I am feeling good. Despite the fact that I have the head cold from hell (I'm a bit like a man when it comes to colds....always straight to the "I'm Dying" man flu!), I feel positive. I feel motivated. I still WANT this!!

This week, despite everything, I have lost 800 grams. That makes 2.2kg in 2 weeks! That is awesome!! 

Earlier this week I fell off the wagon in a major way. Basically, I forewent every lesson Chriss had given us and just ate what I felt like. 

Well, actually no, that is not entirely true. Yes, I ate rubbish, but I was STILL aware. I was aware of the carbs I was consuming, the sugars, the calories. When I wasn't eating "whatever I felt like", I was eating properly. Balanced, low carb, high protein, low GI foods. 

Also, I was aware of MOVING. Sure, I wasn't exercising. I wasn't doing a set exercise or exercises. But rather than sitting still on my butt all day, I was up and about. I was doing housework, I was playing with Mini Miss, I was walking, I was throwing the ball in the yard for Jasper. I was aware that no, I wasn't being perfect, I wasn't even being good, but if I kept moving, I would keep burning those calories. 

And THESE things? They are what have made all the difference for me!! 

These are the life lessons I keep talking about. This program is designed FOR LIFE! It's not a quick fix, its not a detox, its a new way of living. Its knowledge, knowing the right things to do, being aware you are not always going to be perfect, but having that knowledge to get straight back into it. 

I know now, have a bad day? Do a Fat Flush day the next day to reset your body. Have your free day, because denying yourself the foods you love only leads to cravings, which leads to, in my case, over eating the food you crave. Exercise right, exercise smart, because exercising wrong only increases your appetite, and you are bound to give in and eat more than you need to as result, eventually.

So this week I have had a rollercoaster week. Ups and downs. I lost motivation. I went through the 

"i can't do this" 

"I have struggled with my weight all my life, so why would that change now"? 

Self doubt crept in. But, with the support of family, friends, work colleagues (yes, you know who you are Miss Boss!!!), and the very important support of like minded people going through the same thing, AND the support of the Personal Trainer helping me on this journey, I got through it. 

I took a running leap back onto that wagon and have continued on the ride.

Follow my journey.....

Part 1 - A New Beginning For Me

Part 2 - End of Week One

Part 3 - Mid Week Disappointment

4WFF.....Mid Week 2 Disappointment

The last few days, to be honest, have been a disaster. The wheels have fallen off. 

If there was a 4 week Fat Flush Wagon, I just fell off and got left in the dust. 

I feel awful. I feel like I am letting people down, like I am letting Chriss down.....and I am definitely letting myself down......

This disaster is not Chriss's fault. It is not the programs fault. In fact, the program teaches you exactly how to deal with situations like this....I am just bad at managing it...

See, this last week our Mini Miss has been very sick. This has lead to a few very loooong nights and unplanned trips to the doctor, chemist etc. 

I am good at planning. Sunday night I sat down and wrote up a menu plan for the week. That included breakfast, lunch and dinner. Snacks were also included. I scheduled time for exercise. Sounds like good planning and organising right? 

Wrong. 

As soon as something unexpected and unplanned came along, all that was forgotten. A big lack of sleep 4 nights in a row has left me completely exhausted, unmotivated and unable to get myself going again. I do not cope well at all without enough sleep. I become moody and grumpy. I become unreasonable. I become physically exhausted and everything requires the biggest effort to get moving again. I need at least 6 hours sleep a night to function properly. I have not got that this week.

A good example is Tuesday where I had to rush Mini Miss to the Doctor before I started work at 2pm. I ran around getting everything organised for her to be with Gran for a couple of hours, I got my work stuff ready. I rushed out of the house. I was seriously worried about her. I forgot about lunch or at the very least afternoon tea. I had nothing. Come 2pm I was more than a little hungry, of course. I felt sick as I hadn't eaten since 7am that morning. The last week I have been careful to have small regular meals, so my body kinda freaked out! In desperation, and not wanting to work feeling that ill and shaky, I grabbed the only thing available to me where I was....a Mars Bar. It filled the spot, but I felt ill afterwards as well. Not the shaky kind of ill, just emotionally ill. Disappointed ill.

And so that is how my last 3 days have panned out, rushed, stressed, unorganised and in the end, lazy.

Normally this is the point at which I go "you know what? This is too hard. I can't do it. I don't have the time/patience/willpower/drive to do this right now. I think I will leave it and try again in a few months."

Not this time!!!!

I am determined NOT to let anyone down.

I am DETERMINED to make this work. 

Soooo, right here, right now, is my PROMISE. My AFFIRMATION

I WILL get back on track. I will strive ahead and still make my goal of 5kg.

HOW??

I will plan better. Sunday nights I will not only plan the menu's, but where possible pre prepare the food. Cut up the meat, cut up the vegies. I will prepare lettuce, carrot, cucumber, celery, etc so I can simply grab a container and fill it with salad. I will fit some, ANY sort of exercise into everyday.

THAT IS MY PROMISE TO YOU.......AND TO MYSELF! 

Now, lets see if I can keep my promises....I am not always the best at that, as I often promise what I simply cannot do......but I CAN DO THIS!!!

Follow my journey here...

Post 1: New Beginnings
Post 2: End of Week One