Friday, 20 January 2012

Love my family so so much

When I take a moment to stop, and smell the roses so to speak, I realise just how lucky I am. I wish I could/would do this more often, as there are many people out there without the sort of family support I have. I have a BIG family, and coming from a family as an only child, that in itself is an accomplishment!! Not all these family members are relatives, which makes them extra special, these are people who are amazing and who I am proud to call family, they are the family I choose. Not to say that my own "real" family members are not amazing, because they ALL are!! So I am going to share a little bit about each of my family members and what makes them special. 

Of course to start with my fiance, Shane.
What an amazing man. He came into my life via the internet, a dating site. Who would ever have thought you can actually find a decent man on one of those!! But, if you are willing to take the time and sift through the....less than admirable people....there are a few genuine ones out there! He is patient, to the point of stubborn! He stuck by me while I said yes I want to be with you, no I don't, yes I get the picture! Anyhow, there is a WHOLE history shoved into that 2 years...
What I makes him special....He is loving, patient, kind, geeky in such a cute way. Then there are all the little things, like how he rubs my hand when he holds it, insists on kissing me nearly every time we pass each other in the many things, I simply cannot list them all, or we will be here all day! But he makes me feel whole, without him I feel empty, lost, with him I have direction and purpose. And when I'm dealing with the PND demons, or whatever the hell is going on in my head, he is there, a constant tie to reality, safety, normality. He is happy to hold me til passes and I am me again...not everyone is able to that, and that tells me he loves, unconditionally....

And, I just have to share....Shane just came into the bedroom with the excited look of a kid who just got the much coveted pony for their birthday, to share all about Comic Con, how much tickets are, who will be there....I love how much he loves his SciFi stuff!!!

Back to family members.
My 11 year daughter Maddi.
Wow, there is so much that makes her special. She was my surprise from a less than loving ex. But the love and joy she has brought into my life outweighs all that bad history! She is bubbly, excitable, gentle and caring, loves animals and music. When she decides she is "into something" it consumes her, becomes her passion! We grew up together in a way, it was just her and I for the longest of times. We were mother and daughter, but also in a way, best friends. That is a bond that can never be broken.....I hope. (lets wait til she is a teenager!). The fact that she accepts and loves Shane as her Dad, despite him only coming into our lives 2 1/2 years ago just shows you her capacity to love. In fact, the fact that she has accepted ALL the changes in her life over the last 18 months is just amazing! Sure, she has hit some bumps in the road, but she just picks herself up, dusts off, and keeps going....I really admire her ability to do that.....

My beautiful bubba Molly
She has only been here 9 months, but wow, what an impact she has made on our lives! She has been one of the most difficult and demanding babies I have ever met! That sounds negative, and it probably is, I would be lying if said bonding with her was easy. It wasn't. I had always thought Maddi was a tough baby, but she doesn't even come close to Molly!
What makes her special...her ability to make me laugh, even when she is naughty, the innocent joy she gets out of the simplest things, the way she just stares at the trees moving in the wind as if they are the most amazing things in the world, her intelligence, which at times is far beyond her years (I could get all proud mum here and tell you all the amazing things she can do, but I won't!), the way after bath time she will rest her cheek to mine, wet head and all, and cup my other cheek in her hand and stare at me with pure love. Again, so many more things I could list. Yes, she has been difficult and trying, but I wouldn't have her any other way, because then she wouldn't be my Molly!!

My Dad...
I don't know where to begin. I didn't really know him as a child, because he worked 2 jobs, then when we moved, he worked long hours in Sydney (a 2hr drive each way). His only "me" time was his cricket and soccer. As a teenager I resented him for it. As an adult, I understand, and appreciate all he sacrificed for his family.
Why he is special....He loves me, even though I know I didn't turn out the way he wanted, he still loves me. He never hesitates to help us out when we need it. He bought our family home, so we could all live together, so once again, he could provide for his growing family. The way he watches Molly grow, the joy he gets out of it. He knows he missed out, and I am proud to provide him with the opportunity to watch his little Granddaughter grow up. They way he looks at Maddi, with such pride when she does something, no matter how small. His love for his family, the way he puts family first, that is what makes my Dad amazing!

Ok....extended family, adopted family...I will try to keep it a little shorter!

My new Mum & Dad....
I am still getting to know them. We have only known each other 18 months or so really....but I can tell you what makes them special to me :)
Firstly they have adopted Maddi as their Granddaughter. Not many in-laws have to capacity to love enough to take on a child that isn't their blood relative. Then there is the amazing support and genuine caring they have shown me. They never hesitate to help us with Molly. From an early age, as soon as they realised we were struggling a bit, they started taking Molly over night. Now its saturday night every second weekend, and whenever I need a break. My health has been far from perfect these last 12 months, and they ALWAYS step in and help out! Their love and desire to help and support their family, and extended family (and its NOT small, I can tell you!), is what makes them simply amazing!

There is so much that is amazing about her, I don't know if I can fit it into one small paragraph! We have been friends for about 10 years now. We have held each others hands through some pretty tough times, and laughed ourselves senseless at some pretty great times too. If there is such thing as Soul Sisters, then I have found mine! 
What makes her special. Her ability to care, beyond anything I have ever seen. She is able to push aside her own problems, no matter how big and care for others. Her empathy, which, sometimes is a curse, but still gives her an amazing sense of understanding and love. She held me up, when my life fell apart, not once, but twice. First with a drug addiction, and second when I lost my Mum. I doubt very much I would have survived either of those events without her. I have let her down during her greatest time of need, and I cannot take it back, I cannot make it ok, but I can make sure it NEVER happens again. Despite that, she still loves me and calls me sister. Like my Soul Mate, I don't know what I did to deserve such friendship, but I am so very lucky to have it, I know better than to question it!

Kathy... (cause one Katherine is never enough!!!)
This lovely, crazy person, I have known since Kindergarten! We weren't always friends, but circled in the same groups for years. When did we become best friends, family? I have no idea, but I am proud to call her sister. 
What makes her special...Her ability to make me laugh, her ability to force me to be silly and have fun, even when I don't want to, but need to! Her ability to smile through the toughest of lifes challenges. Her ability to brush herself, get up and keep going when life kicks her in the guts. Her strength. We have a life time of memories, of crazy fun filled trips away, these memories always make me smile no matter what!

We have been friends since high school. Dealt with the highs and lows of the teenage years together. Attempted, and somewhat failed to share a best friend. (for those of you unsure, 3 is definitely a crowd!) But I wouldn't change those years, no matter how difficult, cause they are part of what brought us to here & now. You are my sister, as much as anyone from a different family can be a sister.
What makes her special. So many things. Her faith, and her ability to share her faith with everyone and anyone. Her love of God is such, that you cant help but admire it. To hope to someday attain that same love and trust in our God. Her quiet, or sometimes not so quiet, support and advice. Knowing I have someone I can call at 2am if I'm simply worried about something, not that I ever would, but knowing I could. Her guidance and caring nature, her willingness to help others, to get in there and simply do what needs to be done. Her love, despite all our ups and downs, we love each other, as sisters do. We drive each other crazy, as sisters do. She steps in and mothers me when I need it, as sisters do...

Ok, so that will do....I'm sure I've bored you enough lol! If I haven't included you in todays blog, that doesn't mean you are family, aren't special or that I don't love as much as I love everyone else. These are simply some the family who I hold close to my heart & treasure. If I stop and smell the roses more often, then maybe, just maybe, I will slowly get better.

<3 <3 <3

1 comment:

  1. Just so you know, I love you soooo much. You are the love of my life and I am grateful every single day that you are in my life. I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.